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V1.
TOMMORROWS PROBLEMS
well OUT OF VIEW…
RAMMED DOWN OUR THROUTS FOR SO LONG
ITS YESTERDAYS NEWS…
OUT OF SIGHT…
OUT OF MIND…
NOT PART OF MY LIFE
PART OF THE DESENSITIZED GENERATION..
I SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT.
CHORUS
SO) SPARE ME YOUR FUTURE PHILOSOPHY NOW
TOMORROWS THINKING CAN WAIT
SAVE ME YOUR SMALL TALK
FOR A DIFFERENT PERSON
ON A DIFFERENT DAY
WE GOT THE LATEST MOBILE PHONES
THAT BRING US ALL THE BREAKIN NEWS..
AND WHEN WERE DONE WATCHING
WE SLIDE IT RIGHT OUT OF VIEW
V2.
WHO CARES FOR TOMOOROOW (ANYHOW)?
WHEN TODAY IS SUCH A FIGHT?
GOT TO PAY CREDIT CARDS
FOR HOLIDAYS LONG GONE BY…
PICTURE POSTCARD MEMORIES
PAY SUCH A GOOD PRICE…
CHORUS
SO) SPARE ME YOUR FUTURE PHILOSOPHY NOW
TOMORROWS THINKING CAN WAIT
SAVE ME YOUR SMALL TALK
FOR A DIFFERENT PERSON
ON A DIFFERENT DAY
WE GOT THE LATEST MOBILE PHONES
THAT BRING US ALL THE BREAKIN NEWS..
AND WHEN WERE DONE WATCHING
WE SLIDE IT RIGHT OUT OF VIEW
V3.
DISASTER ZONES GRAB CENTRE STAGE
BIG-TIME POLITICAL TREASURE SEEKERS
GRAB AILING LIMELIGHT ON THE FRONT PAGE
LISTEN TO THE PROMISES
FROM FAT-CAT NATIONS…
PRICELESS WORDS
FOR A NEXT GENERATION…
I GOT NO TIME FOR THAT NOW
GIVE ME A SUPER-SOPHISTICATED LIFESTYLE!
I’LL HAVE A FACEBOOK IDENTY,
WITH A THOUSNAD SMILES!
EVER HUNGY FOR THE GOOD TIMES
I’LL HAVE IT ALL!
GIVE ME HIGHSPEED INTERNET RIGHT NOW
WANT THE WHOLE WORLD IN VIEW!
ALL THIS STUFF, IT COSTS ME DEARLY -
SO PLEASE DON’T TROUBLE ME NONE..
TOMMOROOWS GOIN TO BE OK? I DON’T KNOW.
NO TIME TO THINK
LET GOVERMENTS TAKE CARE OF THE DETAILS
….CORRUPTION, COVER-UPS, LIES
(M8)
we reap what wee sow
WHO CARES ABOUT tomorrow???
There’s no turning back NOW
Once we have used all the gas
But man - we NEED ALLof it!
CHORUS
SO) SPARE ME YOUR FUTURE PHILOSOPHY NOW
TOMORROWS THINKING CAN WAIT
SAVE ME YOUR SMALL TALK
FOR A DIFFERENT PERSON
ON A DIFFERENT DAY
WE GOT THE LATEST MOBILE PHONES
THAT BRING US ALL THE BREAKIN NEWS..
AND WHEN WERE DONE WATCHING
WE SLIDE IT RIGHT OUT OF VIEW
GOOD TIMES!!!!
Lord Mandelson Paints Perfect Picture for Stateside Healthcare Reform
The First Secretary of State said: ““Everything is now flowing extremely well.” after a visit to an NHS hospital earlier this week.
What on earth is flowing so well, Mandy???
The waiting lists??? The eighty year old drainage system???
Or is it his witty, yet slightly naive banter???
“Actually I have had a jolly time.” he said.…followed by:
“I am very proud to be an NHS patient.”
That’s a yes then.
The Times painted a slightly different picture. A report entitled ‘Fat, unfit, and top of the sick league.’ found that 40,000 NHS staff smoke over 20 cigarettes per day, 40% exercise less than two times a week, and 1.4 million have poor mental health.
But hey, if the NHS gives politicians a ‘jolly experience‘, then maybe this baby should be rolled out internationally.
There is a little known about, rarely listened to, largely dull, lacklustre radio program in the uk on the BBC radio network entitled 'last breath' or 'final word' or 'off to another world' or something that deals with the weeks obituaries. As OBAMA GOT OSAMA earlier this week, this weeks episode threatens to be the DOPEST, PHATTEST ever. WORD.
Has finally done it. Lifetime subsciption to the bnp. I got a flashy gold coloured watch and a credeit card with an interest rate double that of the highest on offer at moneysupermakretk.com
The reason?
DEAR MUM, DAD, ALICE AND LAWRENCE
I WILL BE MAKING A FACEBOOK ADDRESS LATER TODAY.
ITS TIME TO ‘FESS-UP’
I THANK YOU DURING THOSE DIFFICULT TIMES FOR YOUR SUPPORT, PATIENCE, FINANCIAL BACKING, INTERDEPENDENCE, AND SPACE.
DON’T WORRY - ITS POSITIVE.
I WAS IN SO DEEP, THE ONLY AVAILABLE ESCAPE HATCH IS VIA A SPRINKLING OF HUMOR.
ALL THE BEST.
THE SPEECH:
Verb: Fess up
Phrasal Verb: Fess up
Meaning: Confess, admit something reluctantly
Jem
57 Poland st
W1f 7nw
Final 2009 attempt - the bloody scritpt…
ONE - INTRO
Hi - welcome to my shit or bust tour… I wont go into that now. Suffice to say that this - as usual - could be my last attampt.
It all depends how many laughs I get.
So please. No laughs.
It will proove that I’m shite, and I aont need to come here again.
Instead of being a weirdo on stage - I can be a wiedro in the audience - just like you.
It’s the same thing. Up here and down there. We are both utterly stupid. We know there are a million other, more useful, more intelectual - and god for bid - more entertaining things we could be doing tonight - and yet there is something in our dna that draws usd together.
A secret path of fait?
Or a shared mental disorder?
Don’t look at me.
You paid to come in.
Fucking tards.
Right… where are we?
TWO - CHINGFORD
We’re here - yes…so…
I’m from Chingford. Anybody here from Chingford?
Thought not.
Its weird Chingford. Its neiter fish nor foul. Not posh enough to be considered part of the royal epping forest, and yet, not shite enough to be considered part of Walthamstow.
Theres not much between though, I can tell you.
You can’t tell the dirfference by the way they talk
Or the way they act
Or even the way they drive.
What gets me is that since I’ve moved here I’ve noticed a strange trait which all drivers tent to share.
Does anyone here drive up the cuur when they park? Like all the way up and over???
You do - you are the one that nearly run me over last week.
You’re from London aren’t you? I know….
Chingford has its pewrks.
Ermmm….
Oh yeah. Its got a fire station
Right next to my house.
So every monrning - as part opf the elebortate testing routines, they go through a series of tests to check that all the alarms, sirrents, buzzers and bleepers work on all their vehicles.
Now the perfect time to do this would be about
600, when everone is asleep
Every moring folks.
But most of them are considerate individuals - they know the couw
They are community people.
They do it ever so quietly. And quickly
Its still enough to wake you up, but it could be a lot worsre…
Occasionally you get one of the one school on bourd
Do things by the book
Oh yeah
A full ten minutes of each with them lot
I’m not sure if have trounbble finding the off wetich por what it is.
either way, it’s the perfect way to get you wide awakew in the moring.
There you are, forced to get up for an early moring shite
Your padding around the house ever- so quite now
don’t want to disturb anyone….
You keep your wind under control..
Yeah..
We make it to the bathroom - in peace - and get all prepared and lined up
As you do
Then suddenly ww3 breakes out outside…
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
THREE - JR
So there I was wathcing jopnthasno ross the other night.
You know the guy right.
Ill fitting suite
Ill fitting set
He has the one where the gues have to crane their necks oaround on the screen - know it????
Anyway - I was thingking - I could do that job!!!
I mean its not like hes got a personality or anything, is it???
I mean, compared to adreimn chiles and crish evens, me may aprear intelligent but…
So it got me thinging… I could be this massively successful, highly paid tv presenter.
I’d have to develop a luist of course…
All jokes aside..
Haha
Then reality set it. I suddenly appreciated johanno roos for thew first time in my life.
You know why???
Coz I reasliaewsed that hes been doing the same thing for the last 20 years or whatever it is. Every day, he gets into his car, or jet or whatever he drives these days with our license money, and does the same thing.
Day in day our
Well I don’t know about you ladies and gentlemernt, but that would bore me shitless
I’m not talking about tireing me out..
that’s another issue
What I’m talking about is the monotony of it all - you know
Having to get up at a certain time
Having to be on time..
that’s the hard part.
Its not as if he’s got the option of waking up in the moring and thingking…
Not today….
He has to be there every day!!!
that’s why he’s there.
Nothing to do with personality at all!
I admait that I may have a bigger psercosaliy than hojjhsno ross, but when it comes to his daily routinre, I would be no match for him…
With me, it would be more like…
The alrm fgors off, right…..
Another five minutes.
Snooze
You sleep few a the next dozen or so, and then you pear over at the closkc and realise
FUCK I’VE MIST MY SHOW!
MY FIRST ONE
OH SHIT
Game over then, aye..
But leyts say, I was on time.
Lets say 0 for argunment sake that I am prepared.
I’d have to stay up all night
I’d look like shit, but I’d be ready
May be a bit slow..
But -- I’ there.
Day one - show goes well
don’t forget - even if I am running at 50% of my suaul that would be apporximatel the same level as j r.
Mission caprices.
Where it gets slightly more interesting is the following day…
I’m certainly not going to ssay up all night again…..
So I’d have to work something out.
Alarm goes off right
I’ve put my socks out the night b4, so I’m all mentally prepared and that….
Then as I’m turing over in my bed, I lrease -
Hang on - I did that yetrdsrtt
I woudln t wan tto do it again
Once would be enough - I’m sure of it..
Jr has to do it every day!
My heart geos out to him..
My name has been russ hurley. Good night.
FISH FINAL!!!
STUCK IN YESTERDAY, EVERYDAY THE SAME AS THE LAST
NOT MOVING ON,
Yeah
I’m absolutely flawless
Bros screm
So here we are - the end of another week has come
We’ll all dressed up, and heading for the club
Go to the freer and grab another breezer
Take off all your clothes and jump into the jacuzi
Let ya dds down to ya knees
Man it is so nice in here-r
the view is apsectacular
You got me wanting ya in the master bedroom right away
All over massage do you ok?
Then open up your legs and come on out and play
It its in sight I will suck it
Got a rocket in my pocket and its ready to head of to deep space 9
Nice and easasy - can you feel it?
Can take it easy
Will last all night
Gonna show you your riding with the best guy in town
Forget the rest - I’m the best around
Flauless
I’m looking around - all over this town
Ttrying to find something to save me
Deep down in my soul there is a big whol
I no longer complete without you
I know your not coming back
I’mv completely lost track
Of all of the things around dme
I walk the streets incomplete
In a daze day after day In the hope I can find something to save me
I’ve tried everything from moonshine to jack
To rid you gfrom my mind
But there just aint nothing I can find that comes close to you
So I walk the streets alone
With half of the soul
Oh I am only half the man I sued to be yeah
Wandering how I will fill this big whole
Is it worthi carrying on?
I tried everything I could to be strong
Deep down I am boreken
Deep down I am broken
Pas on by - (song for Joyce)
There will be times in your life
When you show your weaker side
Remember to pass on by
Times when others block your path
And temp you to your weaker side
Just remember to pass on by
If you are tempted to react
You may loose track- of your own mission for life
Life can be short - no time to get hurt
So just make sure you pass on by
Pass on by to the sunshine!
To all of the good times!
That lie ahead in your life
don’t be persuaded - to get distracted
And end up caught in the rain!
There are winners and losers
Trier’s and quitters
And all of them play the game to win
But do you know which game you are playing?
Is it one that you chosen?
Or are you messing with somebody else’s dreams?
There will be times when you feel the need to react = when those around you fall foul
But your expectations need to explanation
You’ll only get yourself down,
Pass on by to the sunshine!
To all of the good times!
That lie ahead in your life
don’t be persuaded - to get distracted
And end up caught in the rain!
Pass on by to the sunshine!
To all of the good times!
That lie ahead in your life
don’t be persuaded - to get distracted
And end up caught in the rain!
My first ballad
The whisky bottle lies on the kitchen shelf
Its almost empty so what the hell
I am may as well kill of the whisky
Before I kill of myself
Every night the same visions of you deer
Haunting me into the day
Its as if you are right beside me
And you never really went away
There seems no sespacing the nightmare
Visons of you just wont disapear
So what can I do but kill the whisky
To help my mind be more clear
I knw I said I woulnt miss toy baby when I told we we were through
No I know you have moved on and I can’t carry on
And that I know to be true
It is no good asking for forgivenesss
I know that you have moved on
As for me there is no placce to move on to
How did I get it so wrong?
Now as I lie awake in the moonlight
Trying to count all the starts
Anything to take my mind off the memories I have of you - the life we had in the past
Everyday I confess I think about calling, but I know I cannot do that
So I write you a letter - to tell you I still care about you
And tel you all of the facts
But what good are facts when its history
Deep down I know you and I are though
But no matter how hard I try - not one day goes by
When I don’t think about you…
(betty boo style - MOTOWN)
3 motwon soul covers:
Stand by me
Where did our love go?
Unchained melody
Unchained Melody
~ The Righteous Brothers
Video
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me
Lonely rivers flow to the sea,
to the sea
to the open arms of the sea
lonely rivers sigh 'wait for me, wait for me'
I'll be coming home wait for me
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me
Friday night party fever
Friday night party fever
YEAH, STEPPED INTO THE PLACE
Been working all week for this night to come
The 9-5 all week long was not my idea of fun
Br
Been waiting all week for this night to come
Got paid – in my pocklet – full of 50s now its time to hit the club
Its sunny outside – a perfect night ahead
Dem girls are getting ready
07951 404 545
Fear, uncertainty and doubt in Amsterdam.
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