For some reason I decided to join a band. Of course I had to be the lead vocalist! I haven’t sang for 26 years. So this is our first ‘gig’. A jazz outfit who don’t know anything about pop. I know nothing about jazz. I don’t know much about pop. The only lyrics I know are ‘Angels’ by Robbie Williams.
This our debut hit. - A badly sung ‘Angels’ over a jazz backing. I managed to get about half way through before I forgot the rest of the lyrics. What else can do you apart from start humming?
Fragile planet
Rising water levels
Frail economy
And alll the rest of it.
We are the only show to bring you:
The economical and environmental aggenda of all the major political parties.
Lucky this isn’t one - from any of them
So we can bring you what matters
The real news
The big picture
Check this stuff out…. Worlds first and only billionaire sportsman falls from grace… That’s the one we need.
Yeah - the real news. The rising tides and credit crisis will have to wait a bit longer folks…
Don’t panic - its not like anything needs doing right away.
We’re going to fuck it up anyway right
So we may as well take our time
And enjoy the real news
Where were we:
Yeah - so
It was a week ago now that the world heard the news that Tiger Woods had backed his car out onto the street into a fire hydrent.
Stupid idiot
Dumbass.
He should have used a driver
(ooh - who put that there)
Oh well, if you do have to leave your house in the middle of the night
In a rush
With somebody chasing you with a gold club
Its maybe not so surprising
And that folks was the fundements of what is turning out to be
Fundamentally a great story..
The guy is ual lly pretty resevered, focused, and closed off to socualty - which makes us all the more inregeued about the goings on of a billionare sports person.
After all, its not every date you get a change to meet one
I’ve never met one
And unless I get a change to meet tiger woods, I never will
Because he is the noyl one
Yes, at the end of the day folks, the wolrds only sports billionare is a aman
Its hust not fair, is it, ladies
But right now, we got to sellte for what we got, and that ‘what we got’ is a pretty hpat slice of international world gossip.
And now as the girls come out, we hear of course that he is crap in bed.
What exactly were you after ladies?
Be honest
It wasn’t the all expenses paid - hotle of your choise, gfood of your choise sex romp with an international jettersetter now was it?
Thought not
Of course hes crap in bed! God dam n it
You can’t heave everything
Its one or the other
Fame or sex drive
Fortunate, I have
Neither..
Now before its over to the solution room to see what phoenix has been up to in the shed…
Lets have a quick look at the economy…
Todays question:
Will the resssession be over by chritmas???
As promised by this guy…
About 4 months and £175 billion pounds ago…
Phoenix - whats going on…
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