internal ccc

RUSSELL COMEDY SCRIPT ATTEMPT 1

SO I WON THE LOTTERY, YEAH

SO I WONT BE COMING HERE AGAIN

SERIOUSLY, THOUGH - JUST HAD THE SWIMMING POOL PUT IN

BUT IT’S A BUT TOO CLOSE TO THE DOOR FOR MY LIKING

SO I ASKED THEM TO MOVE IT

THE GUY LOOKED AT ME, AS IF I’D GONE CRAZY

HE SAID NO

SO I SAID - ARIGHT THEN - WELL HAVE TO MOVE THE HOUSE

ABOUT THREE INCHES TO THE LEFT - THAT OK?

HE SCRATCHED HIS WELL FOR A WHILE, AND GAVE A FUNNY SORT OF LUAGH

CHUCKED AND SIAD

WELL THAT WOULD COST YOU

WELL - I’M SERIOUS ABOUT IT, I SAID. HOW MUCH???

ABOUT HALF A MILLION QUID PROBABLY.

WELL, I SAID. I GOT MONEY TO SPEND. DO IT BY FRIDAY AND ILL GIVE YOU DOUBLE.

YOU LOOKED HESITANT, AND STARTED MOANING ABOUT HAVING TO GET MORE PEOPLE.

I SAID - LOOK PAL - HERES TWO MILLION. JUST GET IT DONE, OK?

AND GUESS WHAT - THEY DID IT.

THE ONLY PROBLM IS, IM NOW ABOUT THREE INCHES INTO THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR.

THEY SEEM OK ABOUT IT, EVEN THOUGH THEY CANLT OPEN THEIR FRONT  DOOR - THERES A SWIMMING POOL IN THE WAY.

BUT I SAID - LOOK - ANY TIME YOU WANT A SWIM, JUST DROP IN

NO NEED TO ASK OR ANYITHNG - JUST DO IT!
 RHL

A lot to get through paper virign

Teen age suicides 14 years

Phone box
Radio
stats % of people who felt depressed who called 57%. People who committed suicide after speaking with somebody 67%
Serious
Mail
Time off
They have to call
Vicious circle
Remove obstacles high buildings?
Bridges
More bridges
Pension burden
other ways to save cash - national debt is mounting up.
Prisons
Women stabbing kid with butt 9 months
12 months
New law fto keep prisoners beyond term life imprisonment. Forget it
Camps. Hard labour. EBay dogey socks - kids in Indonesia socks or home.
Charity DEC. kids. Campain closed.
Auction - crap books. Take money back. No charity.

Football - ticket.

Perfect script.







* Football




RHL

A lot to get through paper virign

Teen age suicides 14 years

Phone box
Radio
stats % of people who felt depressed who called 57%. People who committed suicide after speaking with somebody 67%
Serious
Mail
Time off
They have to call
Vicious circle
Remove obstacles high buildings?
Bridges
More bridges
Pension burden
other ways to save cash - national debt is mounting up.
Prisons
Women stabbing kid with butt 9 months
12 months
New law fto keep prisoners beyond term life imprisonment. Forget it
Camps. Hard labour. EBay dogey socks - kids in Indonesia socks or home.
Charity DEC. kids. Campain closed.
Auction - crap books. Take money back. No charity.

Football - ticket.

Perfect script.







* Football